In 2006 I had given up competing professionally in a sport that had me traveling around the world.  My back had gotten so bad it hurt simply to get out of bed.  The days of running three to five times a week were a thing of the past.  If I so much as ran one mile I would not be able to walk for several days.  I mean in fact that I would be in so much pain and my body in such spasms that I could not walk further then from my bed to the bathroom for several days.

In 2007 I went through eight months of physical therapy.  This helped tremendously and I was back to working out but avoided anything and everything that put any kind of pressure or load on my back.  There were days I would struggle to get out of bed but I was at least moving and active again.  I was moving but I was not strong. I was not fit.

This pattern of “maintenance” continued and I resigned myself to the “fact” that I would be able to stay lean but I would never be strong again.  I would have to limit the activities I did and there would simply be things I can’t do anymore.

April 2010, I learned about this new style or type of gym called “Crossfit”.  A person close to me did a Crossfit workout in her friend’s garage and was hooked.  She found a gym close to us and we all went to check it out.  I met with Fernando David at South Florida Crossfit and he explained the Crossfit philosophy/ programming to us.  We tried our first workout.  It was a mile time trial and then Tabata Air squats.  Well squatting was just not in my wheel house and as I already knew would never be something I would ever be able to do or do well.  These Tabata Air Squats destroyed me.  It was an 8 minute workout.  20 seconds of Air Squats and 10 seconds of rest.  I could not go low enough and every squat, if that’s what you wanted to call what I did, hurt.  I don’t mean it was uncomfortable.  I don’t mean it was discomfort due to muscle fatigue like any normal exercise might do.  I mean it HURT.  I was in pain.  Mobility pain.  Impingement pain.  Load related pain.  PAIN.  This was a movement using ONLY my own body weight.  My mind was broken as badly as my back felt.

I never really talked about it but I almost did not go back.  My girlfriend was joining and her sister, who is like my sister already  joined, our really good friend was joining.  I said I was joining but I kept putting it off.  I did not want to face my inability.  I did not want to face the “fact” that I was less then able and less then I used to be.  For whatever reason, I found the courage to go back in and again spoke with Fernando.  I did not want to live like this.  I did not want to feel like this.  My body was on a steady decline.  I did not want to continue being less then I was the day before.  Even if I looked fit or looked healthy, I knew I was far from either.  If you know Fernando, Shakespeare he is not.  There was no inspirational heart to heart.  It wasn’t the words he said but it was what I heard.  It was what I needed to hear.  I was going to fight and I was going to attack my limitations and all of my weaknesses.  This was the first of many walls I would shatter but it may have been the biggest and most important wall to come down.  It was the wall that kept me locked away from being more of what I could become.  I joined South Florida Crossfit.

Although I was in fact progressing and getting better EVERYDAY, the first days, weeks and months were as bad as I thought they would be.  So bad in fact, at least so I thought, that I did not see any of these progressions or improvements.  There were doubts and continued fears.  Would I ever be able to do this?  How could I do that?  Endless questions entered my mind everyday.  Until one day I stopped asking questions and started answering them.  I started answering to myself.  I turned questions into statements.  Sounds silly or simple but “Would I ever be able to do this?” is entirely different then “I WILL do this!”.  It is not what someone else does or someone else’s score on the whiteboard.  It is ONLY what you do.  It is ONLY the effort you give.  It is ONLY you.  The whiteboard is in the gym and it serves a purpose.  It serves YOUR purpose.  You do NOT serve the whiteboard.  You are master over it just as you are master over your mind.  Master over your body.  If you have given everything you can then every progression or improvement should be recognized.  Every pound you add to a lift, every second you shave off a workout, every rep you add to a workout, EVERY improvement is an IMPROVEMENT.  Recognize EVERY improvement.  This is a personal recognition.  It needs no one else to notice.  It requires no celebration.  YOU must recognize it and from there you keep moving and chase the next improvement and progression.  Recognize what you have done.  Recognize what you can do.

It has now been just under a year and a half since I joined South Florida Crossfit.  I am stronger, faster and healthier then I have EVER been.  I am doing things I have never done before in my life.  I know that by the time I am in my forties I will be in better shape and more fit then I was in my twenties.  I have turned back the clock.  I am now better then I was yesterday.  I no longer look at obstacles and challenges as the things I cannot do.  At worst they are simply things I cannot do YET.

Around a year and a half ago I could barely do an Air Squat.  Last night I achieved another PR or personal best by doing a 385 LB Back Squat.  I do not question and in fact KNOW that I will very soon be able to Back Squat 400 LBS.

Thank you South Florida Crossfit.

Thank you to all of my amazing coaches.

Thank you to all of the amazing Athletes I train with and who inspire me each and everyday.

Thank you.